SIX DAYS, SEVEN NIGHTS (35)

Directed by: Ivan Reitman

Starring: Anne Heche, Harrison Ford, David Schwimmer, Temuera Morrison

The Pitch: A (female) journalist for a glossy women's mag gets stranded on a desert island with a gruff old(er) guy.

Theo Sez: Unassuming fluff that bobbles along pleasantly enough for about 20 minutes or so, then takes a stupid pill and never recovers. It's your basic Regular Guy Tames Female With Ideas movie, featuring a high-flying career girl - the kind who worries about "setting parameters" in a relationship - turning into a moron the moment crisis hits, asking for a cup of coffee on a desert island and running for the arms of a strong, rugged man (she "feels safe" with him, she explains) ; that the man in question is old enough to be her father (though still sexy, allegedly) is no doubt part of the appeal, not to mention part of her infantilisation - though she does land a plane all by her little self in the climax. The audience gets infantilised too, taken back to a more uncomplicated time when Other Women were va-va-voom and guys were allowed to be randy ("You're a guy, you can't help it"), treated to a snake swimming up our heroine's leg (he has to put his hand down her shorts and rummage around for it - what fun!), and not even shown the mechanics of surviving on a desert island, getting fobbed off with pantomime pirates instead. Not unpleasant exactly, but even as travelogue it's no more than so-so (the images look a little grey and overcast) ; and really, what more can you say about a movie where David Schwimmer steals the show?