BATMAN AND ROBIN (11)

Directed by: Joel Schumacher

Starring: George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman, Chris O'Donnell

The Pitch: Batman and his cohorts save the world from Poison Ivy and Mr. Freeze, but are unable to prevent an embarrassing deathbed scene from Alfred the butler.

Theo Sez: With a wall-to-wall techno soundtrack plastered over it this might conceivably become a cult accessory at Ecstasy-fuelled raves, in the same kind of way that FANTASIA became a Trip Movie for the summer-of-love crowd 30 years ago : it's like looking through a kaleidoscope (or, indeed, listening to techno) for two hours, a sensory assault that's exciting for about five minutes then increasingly meaningless and monotonous, and finally headache-inducing. The decision to plunge us straight into the action, starting off the film with a 20-minute set-piece, backfires as it becomes clear that the action scenes are even more incoherent than in BATMAN FOREVER : the camera's too close (we never get our bearings, or a clear idea of where everyone is) and every frame is cluttered beyond belief with props and bodies and different kinds of filtered light, pointless purples and oranges and greens - all of it serving to mask the witless pantomime that passes for story ("Curses!" cries Poison Ivy ; "First Gotham, then - the world!" cackles Mr. Freeze). The whole thing feels amazingly (if accidentally) like one of those experimental movies that keep showing you the same image over and over in order to make a statement on the relationship between viewer and viewed (and to drive you crazy into the bargain) : for all its hyperactivity it's a clear case of rigor mortis, and the most ineffectual summer movie in ages (do I hear BEVERLY HILLS COP 3?). Quite simply, it goes nowhere ; the land of lame puns and campy asides ("This is why Superman works alone") doesn't count.