THE BEAUTICIAN AND THE BEAST (33)

Directed by: Ken Kwapis

Starring: Fran Drescher, Timothy Dalton, Ian McNeice

The Pitch: A beauty-school teacher is mistakenly hired to tutor the children of an Eastern European dictator.

Theo Sez: Peripheral jokes about New York Jewish families and creepy suitors bearing musical versions of ROSEMARY'S BABY ("I love you Ro / Don't keep me waitin' / This embry-o / Belongs to Satan") generally do more for this star's brassy persona than the soft-centred KING AND I-type plot that takes up most of this flimsy, vaguely enjoyable comedy. Dalton, like Yul Brynner before him, shows an unexpectedly light touch as the irascible despot, and the predictable plot has its moments even when it does that irritating thing of sending messages through its heroine - she teaches the kids Self-Esteem, she brings tolerance and democracy to this backward country - even while disguising her as Fun-Lovin' Fran. In the end distinguished only (if at all) as a good example of Hollywood's touchingly earnest brand of armchair liberalism, finding time in the midst of hectic plotlines and flying one-liners to equate Thurgood Marshall with Mother Theresa and even take some gratuitous jabs at Newt Gingrich and Jesse Helms.