CAFE SOCIETY (44)

Directed by: Raymond De Felitta

Starring: Frank Whaley, Lara Flynn Boyle, Peter Gallagher

The Pitch: In New York in the early 50s, an undercover cop seeks to entrap a society playboy in a vice scandal.

Theo Sez: A priceless Bad Movie, though a lot of it - especially towards the end, when motivations get murky - is just plain bad. Supposedly a true story, it's actually set in the neverland conjured up in (some) people's minds by names like "The Stork Club" and "El Morocco" - a land where people say "stinko" and "blotto", piano music plays constantly in the background, and conversations dissolve into brittle Dorothy Parkerisms and preposterous banter ("I'm sorry you were late." "I forgive you." "Tell me more." "No Mickey, I'll tell you less."). There's occasionally something irresistible about the whole overwritten archness of the thing, its contrived solemnity - you're unsure how seriously it's taking itself, which is part of the fun (when Boyle says to Gallagher "Can I offer you a nightcap?" it's in exactly the strained, straight-faced tone of voice that prompted Frank Drebin to reply "No thanks, I don't wear them."). Unfortunately it turns out that it does actually take itself pretty seriously, ineffectually so when it tries for pathos or brings on the big speeches and embarrassingly so in the "decadent" orgy scenes, a riot of blurry editing and overcranked images. Long before the end it's a certified failure, though not without a certain character : it's like someone decided to build a whole movie out of the retro dialogue in BARTON FINK, only without realising it was meant ironically.