DIABOLIQUE (11)

Directed by: Jeremiah Chechik

Starring: Sharon Stone, Isabelle Adjani, Chazz Palminteri, Kathy Bates

The Pitch: At a seedy boarding-school, the wife and mistress of the abusive headmaster plot to murder him.

Theo Sez: Would this be any better if Henri-Georges Clouzot's LES DIABOLIQUES didn't exist? Impossible to say, but the existence of a taut, near-flawless original does make it easier to pinpoint the problems in this pointlessly glossy remake. Top of the list must be its sloppiness in neglecting to establish from the outset (it tries later, but it's too late) the heroine's sense of religious morality - her scruples before the murder, translating into guilt afterwards ; without that dread of nameless punishment her terror just seems weak and hysterical, especially since her co-conspirator (Stone as the dead man's mistress) has been turned into a campy ice-queen with a bitchy aphorism for every occasion ("Killing him was a good thing. Like planting a tree."). Of course the real problem is that "heroine" is a misnomer here : Adjani is very much the co-star - we know because she has to do nudity, whereas La Stone gets to make love with her clothes on - and her role, which anchors the story, is downgraded in favour of the "relationship" between the duo (cue hints of lesbianism and a new, utterly absurd ending). Without an identification-figure the movie sinks easily into irrelevance, all tension drained from it. Even the bizarre appearance of Kathy Bates, in a mind-boggling role as a rumpled cop cracking wise about her mastectomy, doesn't really cause too many ripples : just another meaningless bit in a film that makes very little sense anyway.