IF LUCY FELL (12)

Directed by: Eric Schaeffer

Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Eric Schaeffer

The Pitch: A pair of kooky Gen X-ers vow to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge if they're still single at age thirty - i.e. in a month's time.

Theo Sez: One initially lumps this movie with the glut of other romantic comedies about kooky single twentysomethings in the big city, inspired conceivably by SINGLES and METROPOLITAN but more probably by FRIENDS and SEINFELD - a hint of TV always clings to them. But in fact this is such a flaky film, and (unlike TV) so haphazardly plotted, that one can't really lump it together with anything except other mildly diverting failures. It's not just that it takes seriously the "suicide pact" agreed upon by the two protagonists, even though they're obviously so dizzy they couldn't stub a toe without hyperventilating; nor even that it begins in broadly naturalistic vein, veers off into unexpectedly bizrre zaniness, then wraps everything up in corny-sentimental mode. The real final straw is the number of times writer-director Schaeffer (doing a baffling Woody Allen impersonation, performance-wise) arranges for other characters to comment on how smart / funny / good-looking his onscreen persona is.