THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT (64)

Directed by: Renny Harlin

Starring: Geena Davis, Samuel L. Jackson, Brian Cox

The Pitch: A sweet, ordinary - but amnesiac - schoolteacher in a small town is actually a trained assassin for the CIA; she just can't remember it.

Theo Sez: The perfect premise for launching a female action star, making an asset of its unlikely (i.e. vanity) casting: sexist or not, there's a buzz to discovering the true identity of this pretty amnesiac that just wouldn't be there with a male hero. The film seems a little ambivalent about its equal-opportunity action, no doubt aware that its target audience remains predominantly male: its sympathies are more with the "feminine" schoolteacher than the ball-breaking action heroine (who, till the halfway mark, appears only in evil-twin nightmares out of a slasher movie). In fact, despite the gender-bending twist, there isn't a shred of political correctness to it - as it cheekily acknowledges by using smoking (the PC bugbear) as a metaphor for all the sweet, forbidden temptations lodged in our collective id. The tone is less V.I. WARSHAWSKI than MODESTY BLAISE, or perhaps stuff like this writer's THE LAST BOY SCOUT - a shockingly enjoyable mix of visceral violence and rude low-down humour, spiced with echoes of Tarantino (the villain coming on like Mr. Blond when torture is mentioned), lots of cheerfully implausible Boys' Own Paper escape plans, and cute moments like the in-jokey plug for Finlandia Vodka. It may not be Art, but it does end in the almightiest explosion you ever saw; and any film that gives heavyweight Shakespearean actor Cox a literate, beautifully delivered and funny speech surely can't be all bad. Even if it does happen to be a speech about a dog's asshole.