THE X-FILES (47)

Directed by: Rob Bowman

Starring: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Martin Landau

The Pitch: Underground labs. Alien mutants. International conspiracies. The Truth Is Out There.

Theo Sez: Mandatory where-am-I-coming-from clarification : I like the series, without claiming to know all the secret handshakes and everything, but rarely manage to watch an episode right to the end - mostly because they all seem to move gradually but inevitably downhill, starting out as shadowy, imaginative mysteries where it seems anything can happen then (as it becomes clear what's going on) turning into more or less generic sci-fi / serial-killer / monster movies, usually capped by a rushed action climax. In other words, it works best when it gives away least - which may be why this big-screen version feels so disappointingly ordinary : it preserves most of the amusing things about the series, the fastidious-bureaucrat way it informs us where and when each scene is set (kicking off with the neatly-typed caption "North Texas, 35,000 B.C."!) and our heroes' gloriously deadpan style (it's probably worth watching just for the preternaturally calm way Scully announces, "Mulder, I'm having lacerating pains in my chest"), but it also over-explains, making sure the plot is intelligible even to the dimmest viewer (someone actually asks, "You're saying this is a cover-up?") and weighed down by tedious exposition for novices - why Scully joined the X-Files, stuff like that. It's not so much a film of the series as a film about it, a Beginner's Guide aiming to attract new viewers, offering background information plus a watered-down version of a typical episode (playing up the action-thriller aspects, playing down the eerie mystery). Some impressive big-budget moments, plus surprising cinematic strengths - capturing the metallic look of the series' netherworld and adding some adroit visual storytelling, a touch of time-lapse here and a motivated crane-shot there ; good for rookies and rabid X-Philes (who'll doubtless find new fuel for their highly esoteric debates), rather tedious for those of us in between. Oh, and why should terrorists - let alone pseudo-terrorists - want to phone in a bomb warning to the wrong building? Call me a hapless victim of government propaganda, but I didn't get that at all.